Active Listening

I hope I don't seem too soap-boxy on this post- but I feel that this is an essential part of making forward progress which does not take place in 90% of deep/meaningful/religious conversations. So, I feel that I have to say something.
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When having conversations about controversial matters, it seems to me that people stop listening to each other and only think about what their response to the other person will be. They may even get into 'I've already decided that I disagree with you- it doesn't matter what you say' mode.

If one or both people are only looking for ways to prove the other person wrong, then they may as well just pick up a couple wooden poles and take turns whacking each other until they get tired or someone gets hurt.

I have found that it is much better to employ active listening. This means paying attention to what the other person is saying, attempting to understand it, asking questions for clarification, and summarizing the other person's point. When the other person finishes a thought, say something like "I just heard you say X, is that correct?" or "could you rephrase that, or state it again? I'm not sure I understood what you meant."

After listening to the other person, honestly consider whether or not what they said has merit. If you disagree, point out why. Then, if the other person is also actively listening, the two can bounce ideas back and forth in a constructive way.